The Power of Range
We make decisions everyday. What we eat for breakfast, what we wear to work, what street we choose to drive or walk - it’s all decisions that we make for ourselves. Then there are larger decisions, those that we have defined as big “life” decisions, like our jobs or where we live or our close friendships. Making those life decisions have always been a struggle. For me, I have always felt confined or restricted whenever I felt like I had to choose one path. In high school, I always took a range of courses or did a variety of extracurriculars so that my days would look different each day (studio art, biology or chemistry, taekwondo, literary magazines, you name it). I thought it was a superpower to have multiple superpowers - why have only one when you can have many?
But then, people started telling me I was too distracted. My family, my friends, my acquaintances were confused or astounded that I had so much on my plate. “How can you handle all of that?” or “I feel like you are too distracted” were main phrases that I heard as I was nearing the end of high school. For my parents, who grew up in a time where stability (financial, lifestyle, etc.) was the key to survival, they were concerned that I was exhausting my energy into too many things. It’s a privilege to have the options that I did, but at that time I felt my superpowers were turning against me. Others who chose to specialize in arts would be able to create masterpieces, while I could only create the small artworks I had time for. Those who chose to specialize in computer science or biology had developed fascinating independent research projects or gone on to specialized programs, while I had only managed introductory to intermediate courses. Those who spent their whole day training for taekwondo and gone to world championships I had to watch from YouTube or social media while I could only spend an hour or two a day on training. I felt novice despite my range in different pursuits.
In college, my feelings of restrictions only deepened. Students were defined by their major, and if you hadn’t already chosen one by the early years, you were seen as misguided. “Oh, don’t worry - you’ll find your interest soon” was something I heard consistently. My pre-medical track limited my ability to take the three hour studio art classes I wanted, and my new college lifestyle limited my ability to train for taekwondo like I used to. To compensate in my academic path, I had chosen Global Sustainability and Art History as my major and minor (which I have not regretted since). I thought, “this is the range that I needed,” as I filled up my time with these new, holistic academic interests. But then, when the time came to apply for jobs or medical school, I felt like I had to compete with others who had specialized for years in STEM, spending hours in the lab or working in the hospital. With jobs in sustainability, I felt like I had to compete with those who had spent years specializing in environmental science and engineering. I had spent hours dividing up my time for each, but it wouldn’t compare to others who had dedicated all their time to one.
But then came my last semester of college, when I had to figure out what to write for my senior capstone. I was so tired of feeling torn between medicine and sustainability. That’s when I decided to find a common ground, where the intersectionality of sustainable food systems and hospitals came into mind. I was going to write about why hospital food sucks, mostly because it combined my interests with developing more conscious, sustainable cities and progressing accessible, equitable healthcare. A whole world opened up - I had found so many resources that had already been talking about this intersectionality of sustainability and healthcare that I felt so understood. My range of superpowers had culminated into one, unified front. I realized healthcare and sustainability are so connected (which everyone, especially current/future doctors should know), so dependent on one another that it was trivial to think of both as mutually exclusive. This bled into other areas of my life as well, where I learned the joy in the middle ground between art and fitness, between science and lifestyle. Intersectionality became my superpower, not distraction.
As I am still navigating that middle ground, I realize that there is merit to wanting to learn about or be involved in many things. For some, there is one thing that gets them up every morning, and that is completely OK. In many ways, I still feel the slight jealousy. But for me, I was able to open up my world to a realm that connected different passions. I found comfort in my “distractions” because they allowed me to view different areas of life with a unique perspective. I have the privilege of the support of my family and friends, but even then their voices can make me feel like I’m not on the “correct” path. In a world where lives can be taken instantaneously, it’s trivial to think that way. If you feel like you are too novice at many things while so many others have already specialized and excelled, think of your standing as a catalyst for opening up your own new path. There is a 101% chance that there are other people who are feeling the same, so you are not alone. There’s power in your range.
